Check out your favorite language
Words of Affirmation
HOW TO
To start off, let's go easy with one of the most straightforward languages to turn into a self care ritual. Words of Affirmation is a way of showing love by the way you speak to someone and what you say. To take a self love spin on it all you need to do is tell yourself some loving affirmations. To start, lie down in a comfy place and rest your hands on your chest (or do whatever feels most comfortable), as you speak these loving words out loud. One other way to practice this language is to watch your self talk and correct degrading language with gentle encouragement.
TIPS
To create a more loving environment for your inner child you could tell these things you needed to hear to a picture of yourself when you were younger, or you could look yourself in the eye using a mirror. If you are spiritual feel free to speak your spiritual truth over yourself.
MY EXPERIENCE
One way I love to use affirmations is in my journaling. I will often make pages where I think about some lies I believe(d) about myself and translate them into affirmations to think of when past negative thoughts try to find their way back to me. I love this project as I can make a beautiful chart in my journal, organize my insecurities bringing me to the root of the problem, as well as giving me a solution to go back to whenever I need it.
Physical Touch
HOW TO
Physical touch is one of the most obvious languages on how to share with others, yet caring for yourself while using it can be a bit trickier. The way I like to interpret it is by showing love to my physical body. This could be a large variety of things. Most people show physical love to their body by stereotypical self care rituals like baths or a skincare regimen. Exercise is also considered physically loving yourself. Think about the best way you can show your body some love and that will likely be the best option for you.
TIPS
You can try giving yourself a foot massage, doing some gentle stretches or taking a long hot shower for free options or you can spend money by buying yourself a massager or going to a spa.
MY EXPERIENCE
My favorite way to love my body is by exfoliating while taking showers. Often when I'm exfoliating and paying attention to my body, old insecurities will come up, but this is often when I try to practice loving self-talk. I'll correct past lies that I believed about my body with gentle truths. For example when I was younger I was very insecure about my arm hair. It was always dark and long. For many years I only wore long sleeves because of it. These days when these past emotions start to bubble up I'll remind myself that my body hair is natural and beautiful.
Quality time
HOW TO
Quality time is all about intentional time with yourself, what gives you life and energy. This is by far the most broad category as your time can be spent by journaling all the way to jogging. It's less about what you do and more about making this time a priority. You can practice this by setting boundaries with your work so you have time for your hobbies or saying no to social plans before you feel burnt out. Although this seems like the easiest language as you can do practically anything, it can often feel hard because it sometimes requires saying no to someone to make yourself a priority. But if you are not a people pleaser or have learned to set your boundaries already you can still take this language to another level by listening to yourself during this time. Making yourself a priority does not carry the same weight if you don't pay attention to what you need.
TIPS
Picture your going on a date. What would you want your partner to do with this time they set aside for you? Don't be afraid to go on a date by yourself.
MY EXPERIENCE
Though I'm a very creative person and love all means of making, I often feel pressured to produce something when I'm trying to relax. To counteract this stress I put on myself I will often try a new craft so that I feel no pressure to be good at what I'm doing.
Acts of Service
HOW TO
Acts can be fairly straightforward such as doing the dishes, or taking out the garbage, so I have a challenge for you. When doing your everyday chores try to think about doing these things for your future self, and when you notice these things you have done to improve your quality of life thank your past self. I find this changes the narrative from "I have to do this" to "I will be happy later because I took the time to do this now."
TIPS
If you're a giver you can also volunteer your time as an act of self care but don't forget to volunteer to improve your own life. You can also get creative in your service by doing a project around the house you've been meaning to get to or by making yourself an extravagant meal.
MY EXPERIENCE
I hate doing the dishes and now that I have moved out of my parents' place into a suit with no dishwasher that hatred has only gotten stronger. Sometimes the only way to get myself to wash a dish right after I use it is to remind myself I am doing myself a favor so I won't have to do more at the end of the day.
Gift Giving/Receiving
HOW TO
Gift giving is also one of the more straightforward languages to me, but often we neglect this language if we are on a budget. It's easier to think of a budget friendly gift for yourself if you remember what you have given others when you were low on cash. Keeping money in mind feel free to combine gifts and acts by making yourself a meal or baking a random cake. The point of gift giving isn't to reward yourself for doing something hard but rather to remind yourself that you deserve to be happy just for being you. Don't get me wrong I often buy myself a coffee after a particularly hard day and this is a form of gift giving too, but try to think about how you're always worthy of loving gifts, not just when you need it.
TIPS
If you don't want to shop for yourself because of an upcoming holiday/birthday or just don't like clutter, remember a gift can also be an experience, like getting your nails done. Just like acts you can also give someone else a gift for this language, but my challenge for you is to think of yourself. I like gifts because it tells me the person thought of me and listened to me talking about what I like. When was the last time you got yourself a gift just because you liked it?
MY EXPERIENCE
One thing I will consistently buy are books. I feel they are the gift that keeps on giving even in the realm of love languages: I get a gift, I have something to do for some quality time, and I can lend to a friend as a way to share the love!
DISCLAIMER
These are some of my favorite ways to mix up self care and to figure out exactly what I need. Though this way of thinking has worked really well for me it may not be for everyone. I am not a mental health professional and am only speaking from my own experience. Please keep in mind everyone is different and feels cared for in different ways. What worked and didn't work for you?
I love to bake for self care. It’s quality time, but I find i get a lot of words of affirm from others if I bake 😉!